You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
