I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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