Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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