Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
