So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize