2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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