Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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