i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
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Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize