I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
