was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
