i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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