so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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