Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
