if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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