He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
