I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
