I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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