week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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