Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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