Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
