mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
