wanna go halves on a baby?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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