I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
