the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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