Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
