So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
