woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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