guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
