WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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