Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
