Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
