ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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