dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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