all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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