did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't deserve a penis
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
