Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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