I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
