Three words: puerto rican gang bang
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize