whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
