i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
