her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
