i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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