Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
