why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
