btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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