You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
