you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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