i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
