definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
