your room smells of hookers.
And success
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think my vagina is haunted
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
