He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
