Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
