Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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