i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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