North Korea, Best Korea!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
