Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
