all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
