She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
