So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
