I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
