i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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