his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
