do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
