They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize