You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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