In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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