i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
