Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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